Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here, this is the war room!

Here are two Civil War re-enactor “officers” who don’t seem to have a clue concerning what war is about. They squabbled on the “battlefield” and ended up charging each other with assault.

The Union and Confederate cavalry commanders engaged in a horseback scuffle as they re-enacted the Battle of Stanardsville were found not guilty of reciprocal assault charges in Greene County General District Court on Wednesday.

During the scuffle, the Confederate commander, Doug Nalls, lost his hat and fired his revolver. At issue was whether the hat was knocked from his head by a blow from Joseph Ferguson, his Union counterpart; whether Nalls fired his gun deliberately; and which happened first.

Greene County Commonwealth’s Attorney Ronald Morris said he thought there was evidence to support assault charges against both men.

“What went on here went way beyond what was authorized,” he said.

[…]

The Confederate colonel’s father, Wayne Nalls, testified that he waded into the fray on foot, to try to separate the men.

“And I told them both to shut up,” he said.

[…]

“The feud on the battlefield goes on,” [a disappointed Ferguson] said. “All re-enactors are in danger from the actions of bullies on the battlefield.”

Ain’t war a hoot?