Inconvenient News,
       by smintheus

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

  Iraq is for Lovers

The civil war in Iraq has become sexy again and the love-struck are everywhere today.

At the National Press "Club" luncheon, saint General Petraeus announced right away that he'd dispense entirely with the Tiresome Litany of evidence, argument, and analysis. Instead, he performed a few Card Tricks and then took questions.

The Journalists in attendance, taking turns at plumping his pillows, hung upon his every Word. A few brave but trembling souls ventured to ask the Great Man some questions, with gushing avowal that Petraeus is the Bestest General Ever.

General, I congratulate you on your very, very successful accomplishment of the very difficult mission in Iraq.


Pesky Questions about the Saint's honesty and candor were banished on the breeze.

General, welcome home. I found your testimony to be most clear, concise and honest. And I thank you for that.


Gales of laughter greeted his every witticism, as if the Journalists were in the presence of Mark Twain himself. The blushing Young Things even tittered at Petraeus' Punctuation Marks.

But with that, I'd be happy to hand off to Ambassador Crocker.
(LAUGHTER)


It was a regular Love-In.

General, thank you very much for doing a wonderful and a magnificent job for the nation.


Petraeus' glamorous testimony in Congress ("his boyish straight talk", as one Serious Journalist opined) was so very manly that even the Bookish Types in the capital city were All Atwitter.

"I thought [Petraeus'] demeanor, along with his chest of medals, really bought all the time that George W. Bush needs right now," said Stephen Hess of the Brookings Institution.


In fact they were jostling each other over at Brookings for the pole Position next to his heart.

I was struck when I was in Iraq in July by how much information was whispered in my ear...I think the attacks on him have been unfounded


And who better to pass judgment in such a Sensitive Matter than Sen. Larry Craig, who today sprang forward to defend the honor of this truly Virtuous General?

"Unfortunately, many were quick to prejudge the surge..."


Love is back in the air, and we can thank Iraq for that.

crossposted from unbossed

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2 Comments:

  • The best part of the "boyish strait talk" comment is that full article's title is "Deconstructing Petraeus."

    Derrida would be proud. There truly is not "there" there when it comes to the "debate" over Iraq.

    By Blogger Philippe Duhart, at 7:20 PM  

  • Disturbing, isn't it philippe? A debate over life and death for countless civilians, not to mention the future of the US military, and American society has coughed up these twerps like some cultural hair ball.

    By Blogger : smintheus ::, at 10:57 PM  

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